You survived a real combat deployment just to catch hands during a MCMAP 'gentleman's course'.

Due to budgetary cuts, training will now be indoors.

Men use to get their balls blown off, now they just sit on them.

You signed up to fight for your country and the most heroic night of your career was watching a Thai stripper pop a balloon with her p*ssy.

Someone tries to steal your near beer you have full permission to go Lord of the Flies on their ass.

You trained to kill terrorists but instead you're screaming "bang bang" until you run out of notional ammo.

Welcome to the Underground Death Match between a Camel Spider and a Centipede. BEWARE OF SHAKIRA!

It's easy to not give a F when you know the enemy can't aim for sh*t.

Instead of leading Marines into combat, you're leading them to the pisser.

ComCam has a new duty....Thirst Traps.

Is Senior lance Corporal even a real rank?

"I'm sorry you have to die" – A 3rd grader somewhere, probably

You missed the war, but your senior Marine brings the war to you.

How do war virgins learn to war? They watch war p*rn.

Sh*t rolls down hill when you're the boot...and you're always boot to someone.