This is not my story, but a friend's who is a Staff Sergeant in the Army Reserves. I am telling this story because its one that I still laugh my ass off about to this day. Being reservists, he and his unit only show up for one drill weekend per month. He gets stuck dealing with his guys throughout the month for various BS, but primarily only deals with them directly on those 2 days. One day, I'm not sure how it came to his attention, he discovered that one of his men had died. Upon further investigation, he found out that despite dying 4 months prior, this individual had still managed to show up for drill weekends up until that very weekend that he received notice of his death. I'm not privy to the asschewing that ensued for the indivual responsible for taking roll (or whatever you military folk call it - perhaps it's in the VetTV dictionary?), but my friend was not thrilled to find out that a dead guy had been marked present for 4 months before anyone took notice. Apparently dead people are quite skilled and ambitious. Not only do they turn out to vote, but they show up for drill weekends, too. 😂

Dirt bag private's sham outlived dirt bag private. He did not survive, but his sham will live forever. Wonder how long he'd been ditching out and getting away with it before he got caught dead.