How about a skit about and FNG who goes out on a patrol exercise, and is so nervous you couldn't put a stick pin up his ass with a jackhammer. When a car backfires, he dives under a truck and shits his pants. Upon returning to the armory, the armorer gets wind of his misadventure, and plays along. Making him take his rifle back and clean it multiple times. Finally, when he loses his shit, he asks the armorer (weapons tech these days) what the problem is. The armorer looks at him, dead pan serious, and tells him it still smells like shit.