While in port Triest, Italy, 2 friends engaged in sex at seperate times with the same bar maid. We were in a small dive in port. We were all around 20-21 years old. Waitress comes up and tells Friend #1 that she will accept money in exchange for going upstairs. he obliges her. Around 30 minutes later, Friend #2 does the same not knowing Friend #1 has already had his turn. A couple weeks later in Rhodes, Greece, we get pictures developed showing Friend #1 and Friend #2 on either side of our "lovely" waitress. Friend #2 admits to performing oral sex on her. Shortly after Friend #1 admits to not using a rubber. Mind you Friend #1 went first. I laugh out loud every time I see that picture.
You always have that annoying Senior or Work Center Supervisor that just can't seem to treat people right. So what do you do? Observe him unlock his locker in the engine room. Visit his locker while he's racked out. Pull out his ear muffs and piss in each one. Place back in the locker. There you have it. Your revenge. Great part of this, he wore the ear muffs the entire next 5 hour watch shift. the entire time complaining that something smelled like piss.
At Jebel Ali in UAE (about 20 miles south of Dubai), there was this remnant of the British Empire called the Merchant Mariners Club. It was actually a private club--you had to show id to prove that you were some ship's company, didn't matter if you were off a fishing dhow, a sheep ship or a U.S. Navy destroyer--landsmen were not allowed. U.S. Marines were sort of tolerated, if they were buying. Royal Marines were only allowed in if they ere wearing dresses. The club was filled with the gnarliest, fattest, drunkest, greasiest ancient old merchant sailors you could imagine. For some reason most of them were Australian. They had every type of European, Lebanese and Egyptian low-life you could imagine--gunrunners, drug dealers, mercenaries, and often all three at once. If we weren't fine, upstanding young Americans we could have made a fortune...
There was a parrot that smoked cigarettes--true story, I lit a cigarette myself and watched the parrot smoke it, spit the stub out and then demand another one. They had the best shawarmas I have ever had in my life, free if you were drinking. After you got your scotch (beer was considered a non-alcoholic beverage, and the closest wine was in Bahrain, don't ask for a mixed drink--they would kick you out of the place), the bartender's wife would slice you up a fat, nasty lamb shawarma. They were so good I would order drinks just to get the shawarmas.
The thing to do was to hang out at the pool and place bets on who would jump in from the roof of the 2-story building that overhung the pool. You didn't swim in the pool, which was a lovely green algae color, but people would place bets on who would jump in. The only person who ever jumped in to my knowledge was this EW2 who did it because he got bored of people bragging about how they were going to jump into the pool. It was a beautiful, perfect swan dive. He came down with dysentery, but that might actually have been from the shawarmas.
BTW, if you haven't been part of the coalition, Royal Marines wearing dresses on liberty is a real thing, not a joke. They take it very seriously. I have been offered hair and makeup tips.
I was on the LHA-3 USS Belleau Wood when I was in the Corps on a WestPac when 80%.. YES 80 fucking PERCENT of our battle group FAILED a piss test after we pulled up anchor from Phuket, Thailand. Piss testing went from 30%, to 65% and finally to 80% after the failure number increased in sync. My buddy was the SAC NCO and he told me what was going on. Finally, someone in the medical unit decided to analyze one of the many hundreds of bottles of Thai Whiskey that Marines had brought back as souvenirs. (and before anyone goes fact checking me, this was during the Clinton years and a lot of shit was different back then.) Turns out, that cheap as fuck, strong as hell, knock you on your ass hooch that we were swilling in port for 5 days straight was 65% OPIUM!!! Not only that, there was a drink everyone was slamming called a "Baby Elephant" that was lit on fire, then you inhaled the smoke, blew out the flame, plunged a bamboo straw into the drink and then sucked down until it was empty! So we essentially "free based" the opium and then drank the stinky "bong water." That led to every fucking swinging dick being given medical exams and death-by-power-point training about the dangers of drinking in port. Jesus... those were awesome fucking times!
When I was on LHD-3 I got sent TAD to hazmat and got switched to nights 5 months into deployment. Even tho I was AIMD, I lived with deck. I was just starting to fall asleep around lunch time when I hear bunch of the deck apes screaming RAM FAN. I pulled back my curtain to see 4 of em standing in a circle swinging their dicks in a circle. Come to find out one of em had also drawn a smiley face on the head of his dick and was going around talking to people with it. Miss being underway sometimes