So I’ve been telling our 1SG for months now not to leave his office open and unattended because I WILL at some point strip down naked and lay across his desk, dick first, and send him a picture as proof. So we have a big inspection coming up so all key leaders had to come in on a Saturday. While he was in a meeting I noticed his door was open. As I entered and slowly shut the door to make sure I didn’t alert anyone what I was up to, I began stripping my uniform off as quickly as possible. I then laid across his desk, bare dick pressed. I pulled out my phone and snapped a quick picture. Then quickly got dressed and retreated to my office. Once his meeting was over he walked passed my office so I asked him, “hey Top, have you been in your office lately?” Which he replied by saying “why” then sprinting in there. As I stood in his door frame with the picture ready to send on my phone, him sitting behind his desk with his hands resting exactly where my dick had just been, I asked him where his phone was. After a brief panic he located it in his pocket on his right arm just as he heard to tone of a text message notification.