This is a true story fellas... Maybe someone else out there knows of earlier developments..
It was a chilly December night in 2002 at Kandahar Air Field. All was quiet except for inside a small ops tent on the edge of base. Select paratroopers from 50th Signal Battalion and distinguished grunts, umm guests, along with their young gladiators, from the 82nd had gathered for yet another round of underground gladiatorship. Simply put into layman's terms, 'the E-4 mafia heard of a new game to play, time for the weekly Friday night hazing party'. SPC Rueben and SPC Mark were standing shoulder to shoulder, arms crossed, grimly smiling at the two privates sitting at the small wooden field table. Both were reputable senior ranking 'made' E-4 mafia members at FT. Bragg and both former Chicago gang members prior to service. (BREAK Amazing dudes nowadays, by the way...) Beside and behind them, the small crowd of spectators circling the table grew. Two SGT's leaned against the corner of the ops tent, smoking cigarettes and manning the griddle where steaks out of a Sysco box were being prepared, acquired in an earlier drug deal with the camp supply yard. An Episode of 'Band of Brothers'" played on a small, beat up television. PV2 Brian and PV2 Nate sat across from each other testifying to the barrage of accusations of loving cock and questions of being gay coming from the crowd. PVT's Nate and Brian were going to have to prove that they weren't 'bitch legs' once again. but this time there was a word of a new challenge coming from the field. Through the E-4 mafia network, SPC Reuben had heard of a challenge of manhood being tested up north in Kabul.
The challenge was simple: Two men would sit across from one another. They would lock eyes. They would then begin moving their faces closer and closer to one another to make their lips come together in a kiss.
The key to winning was innovative: Defying all natural conceptions in the civilian world of homophobia...... If one man looked away from glaring in the other's eyes. he was homophobic and therefore gay. If one man smiled as to laugh, he was gay for liking it too much. The last man to veer away from lip to lip contact was less homophobic and therefore the least gay. The man to veer away first was homophobic and therefore secretly gay. It was to be a true humbling test of facing fear in the warrior spirit.
PVTs Brian and Nate were gladiators, though. PVT Nate had evesdropped earlier on SPC's Reuben and Mark talking of the night's event and devised a plan. When the game began, they grabbed the back of each others head and layed the biggest kiss on each other in the history of no homo man kisses. The crowd went silent and then erupted as all ran out of the tent crying " No they didn't!" and "Ya'll nasty motherfuckers!" PVT Nate standing up declaring " I always loved a sexy ginger bitch!" Brian grabbing Nates ears and pretending to get head....
That night the privates had won. They had grossed out the jeerer's the combat grunts and the E-4 mafia. Those who had run in disgust were homophobic. Brian and Nate had made the ultimate sacrifice of gayness. They walked back proudly to tent city that night knowing that they were now officially less-gay than all others!!!
Until upon awakening. What the PVT's did not know was that the game was all a scam. A plot derived by SPC Renee, an aspiring E-4 mafia trustee. Brian and Nate were immediately greeted with the scanned photograph candidly taken of them while kissing and now on display throughout the village. The E-4 mafia had struck again......
THat's all pretty much fact.. Then again, I did smoke a joint about an hour ago.....
Thank you for what you do at VetTV. Happy Veterans Day.